Yes you, the one who receives my words at the bedrock of your being and lets the rich fragrant nectar of love fill your hidden inner darkness
The one who knew me the moment our eyes locked – there was no escape, hiding or masking my wide open willingness
The more I saw, the more I wore you on my skin, in my mind and the tendrils you embedded deep within body were often tugged at with yearning and desire in the dead of night
I was captured like prey in your web…the golden silky lines spun to weave mesmerizing worlds leaving me suspended and trapped in a downward spiralling funnel web.
I was paralysed and deliciously trapped in my desires, waiting for the rush of closeness that would unexpectedly arrive and freeze me with aching anticipation of your touch.
And then you would leave…
Though I couldn’t see you as you withdrew into the heart of your life’s design – I could feel you, I could sense movements, thoughts and actions, resonating in me as though I was you – these fibres which both trapped and sustained me held me in your woven beautiful masterpiece
Sometimes I would try to leave but the strong, silken and sticky chords would arrest my limbs and fix them in place leaving me helpless with nothing to do but anxiously await your return
When you could come to feast, I whispered the words of my heart, loins and soul to your deepest self and in those moments, you were no longer predator and I was no prey but we basked equally in the warm sunlight of love and kindness.
These rays of hope for another life….
The ‘love you offer’ now, was the one I always sought. The one I understood love to be – mixed with pain, pleasure and power and while much of me still receives and responds to that sonar signal – turning on the ‘love lights’ – there is now no one home. I have moved to a different kind of neighbourhood.
I have seen love in action, I have felt love within my being and I have been loved fully just as I am. I am now Shakti seeking her Shiva and can only accept a love that can love me as I have come to love myself – Powerfully, completely and without separation, so that we can get on with the work of living not just trying to survive our union.
As you slid your fingers along my plump open invitation and I clung to your worshipped solid anchor… I said our last goodbye.
In the house of GOD, I thanked him for giving me this ripe and ready nature and for bringing me YOU – the one who brought me back to life. I had a dream for us but then I awoke and arose.
And with that I whispered our last goodbye x